I don't celebrate death. Ever since my father passed, I've become more sensitive to the suffering of others. I used to haphazardly wish death on people I didn't care for (you know, FOD) until someone close to me left my life forever.
So I can't be gleeful even over the passing of a man who held such reprehensible views. A man who seemed to suffer an absolute dearth of redeeming qualities. Surely, I realize, this man had people in his life who knew and considered the man as someone other than a racist, sexist, hateful fucker. Surely he did.
I've decided, instead, to be grateful over the extinguishing of hate.
Jesse Helms
Friday, July 4, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
The Ephemeral Nature of Retirement, Pt. 46
Amazing, but not unbelievable. There's no reason to believe that even the most down home cornpone, fart-joke-telling, old-lady-mooning yeehaw knows when enough is enough.
Go back to Green Bay, Brett. They won't be mad.
The last NFL pass he ever threw was a game-blowing interception. That's gotta sting. So he's got to have one more chance. To gunsling. To have fun out there. To make Joe Theismann's career-ending injury look like a sprain.
World Cup
Powerpuff Girls
Go back to Green Bay, Brett. They won't be mad.
The last NFL pass he ever threw was a game-blowing interception. That's gotta sting. So he's got to have one more chance. To gunsling. To have fun out there. To make Joe Theismann's career-ending injury look like a sprain.
World Cup
Powerpuff Girls
Monday, June 30, 2008
Peanuts is Timeless, Pt Not in the Hospital
Just a couple links...shit was slow.
My theory on why people keep wanting to read Peanuts in their daily paper: it's good, and new comic strips suck.
My theory on why people keep wanting to read Peanuts in their daily paper: it's good, and new comic strips suck.
A football gag drop in a political article that goes the extra mile and actually provides a Youtube link. You stay awesome, Post.
Snoopy Peanuts
Snoopy Peanuts
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Screw This
Spain just won the Eurocup, defeating the Germans 1-0. For those of you who do not know, Germany is my favorite, thanks in very large part to the fact that my mother is of German ancestry. My mother is such a fantastic goddess among peasants that she makes things epically awesome by proxy.
All my Euro buddies hate Germany's squad. They are apparently dirty and dull players.
Oh well...German is still a better language than Spanish. It makes a phrase like "I love you" sound like "I'm going to bomb your city to Hell" and a phrase like "I'm going to bomb your city to Hell" sound like "I will eat your fathers heart and vomit it into your mouth." Also, it bears no resemblance to the Italian language.
Need I go into the whole beer thing?
Tomorrow I'll likely be admitted to the hospital to treat this ongoing series of symptoms that no one has been able to get to the bottom of much less treat effectively. I'm scared; petrified, actually. But eager to get answers.
World Cup
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Questioning the Arbiter of Good "Music"
The words of Thurston Moore insofar as they are spewed re: the gift of music have been taken as gospel by many people for many years. It coincided with Sonic Youth's ascension to indie godhead status 'round about 1988, and has never stopped in the decades since. Whatever bands SY namedropped in interviews would get instant attention, from fans and record companies alike. It was not unlike a slap on the back from King Midas.
No SY member seemed to know more about new music--or at least be more willing to run their mouth--than Mr. Moore, the de facto leader. To this day he boasts an almost superhuman awareness of musical genres and regional scenes, bolstered by a refreshing lack of preoccupation with "newness" that helps explain why a band like Awesome Color can be making music that's been done by several thousand other bands for the past 30 years, yet end up on Moore's label, Ecstatic Peace, and even land several opening gigs for the Youth on their last major tour.
It's a daunting task to try and hunt down the sonic ephemera huzzahed by Thurston Moore throughout the years. Also, it's stupid. Back in the 80s, he gave more face time to more 7 inch hardcore releases than was safe to be aware of, much less take the time to listen to. What's more interesting to me are the albums that Thurston keeps mentioning. This century, especially, I've noticed one standout.
"...super bubblegum-punk...."
"One of the best records I've ever heard...."
"I just crank that shit up in the car."
Released in 2000, Heroes and Villains was intended as a companion piece for the popular Powerpuff Girls cartoon that ran 1998-2005. Creator Craig McCracken picked the artists, showing the same affectionate whimsy that permeated his show about a crime fighting trio of kindergarten girls.
At its best, PPG rocked; villains included the echoey, effeminate Satan stand-in Him; corn pone simian Fuzzy Lumpkins, hellbent on turning people into meat; and prime foe Mojo Jojo, a pint-size monkey with an exchanged gift for words and knack for hi-tech weaponry.
The heroes, of course, were the finely delineated girls: level-headed Blossom, bellicose Buttercup and carefree Bubbles. It was all very winning. At least, on TV it was. Let's see if Thurston is still to be trusted in his advanced age.
1. "The Powerpuff Girls (Main Theme)"--Audio of every episode introduction. Amen break!
2. "Go Monkey Go" - Devo--Sometimes, I wish Devo would do another album. Then I remember their last album. I would cry if they died, but do we need more Devo when Mark is content with children and Gerry is malcontent as ever with life.
3. "Pray For The Girls" - Frank Black--'Cause when I think empowered young girls, I think Frank fuckin' Black, the human embodiment of Charlie Brown. (How has Stereogum not photoshopped him in a zig zag tee yet?) Thurston calls this track "insane". Eh, it's good, dude. It's "insane" if all you've heard is a toothpick plucking a rubber band for three days.
4. "Signal In The Sky (Let's Go)" - The Apples In Stereo--I like this, but I like AIS. They have much better in them than this.
5. "Walk & Chew Gum" - Optiganally Yours--This is poo. I would crank this into a padded room if I wanted the sole occupant to kill themselves.
6. "Buttercup (I'm A Super Girl)" - Shonen Knife--AKA, "Original Powerpuff Girls". You know what it sounds like already--Japanese women in the attic pretending to be the Ramones, down to the leather jackets, buggy shades, and street-tough poses. Except they forgot they're not supposed to smile or add any synth. Oh well. This fucking rules.
7. "B.L.O.S.S.O.M." - Komeda--Songs like this are what smoke would sound like if smoke indeed could produce sound.
8. "Bubbles" - Dressy Bessy--As airy as the titular character is airheaded, but with actual soul lurking in them there clouds.
9. "Fight The Power" - Bis--Video game pyro. Not a cover.
10. "Don't Look Down" - The Sugarplastic--For real, something might be sucking on you. I love that one episode when the Professor's old buddy comes to visit. His name? Dick Hardly. As the day is long, I tell you. They all think he's decent, but he's actually trying to clone the girls. It slowly dawns on them, but they just don't wanna believe it. "But, but, Professor Dick is good, right?"
11. "The Fight" - Cornelius--A brilliant mash of the intro vocals and Cornelius' own guit-spasms. Sounds like a tussle between the Powerpuff Girls and the Rowdyruff Boys and somebody's gettin' a tongue in the mouth.
12. "Friends Win" - The Bill Doss--As in, "dross".
13. "The Powerpuff Girls (End Theme)" - Bis--Aw man, Bis, you fucked up. And I was gonna invite y'all over for ice cream and cookies. Remember that episode that was all Beatles references? Yeah.
So, 6 out of 13 songs are good. Bad, bad percentage. Thurston--fatherhood has made you more accepting of twee diddle diddle. Boo to that. Yay of course to the whole understanding your spiritual role in the universe, that's fantastic, but boo to all that. The Thurston Moore of 1985 woulda kicked your sappy ass. If he weren't too blazed out to get off the couch.
Powerpuff Girls Thurston Moore Sonic Youth
No SY member seemed to know more about new music--or at least be more willing to run their mouth--than Mr. Moore, the de facto leader. To this day he boasts an almost superhuman awareness of musical genres and regional scenes, bolstered by a refreshing lack of preoccupation with "newness" that helps explain why a band like Awesome Color can be making music that's been done by several thousand other bands for the past 30 years, yet end up on Moore's label, Ecstatic Peace, and even land several opening gigs for the Youth on their last major tour.
It's a daunting task to try and hunt down the sonic ephemera huzzahed by Thurston Moore throughout the years. Also, it's stupid. Back in the 80s, he gave more face time to more 7 inch hardcore releases than was safe to be aware of, much less take the time to listen to. What's more interesting to me are the albums that Thurston keeps mentioning. This century, especially, I've noticed one standout.
"...super bubblegum-punk...."
"One of the best records I've ever heard...."
"I just crank that shit up in the car."
Released in 2000, Heroes and Villains was intended as a companion piece for the popular Powerpuff Girls cartoon that ran 1998-2005. Creator Craig McCracken picked the artists, showing the same affectionate whimsy that permeated his show about a crime fighting trio of kindergarten girls.
At its best, PPG rocked; villains included the echoey, effeminate Satan stand-in Him; corn pone simian Fuzzy Lumpkins, hellbent on turning people into meat; and prime foe Mojo Jojo, a pint-size monkey with an exchanged gift for words and knack for hi-tech weaponry.
The heroes, of course, were the finely delineated girls: level-headed Blossom, bellicose Buttercup and carefree Bubbles. It was all very winning. At least, on TV it was. Let's see if Thurston is still to be trusted in his advanced age.
1. "The Powerpuff Girls (Main Theme)"--Audio of every episode introduction. Amen break!
2. "Go Monkey Go" - Devo--Sometimes, I wish Devo would do another album. Then I remember their last album. I would cry if they died, but do we need more Devo when Mark is content with children and Gerry is malcontent as ever with life.
3. "Pray For The Girls" - Frank Black--'Cause when I think empowered young girls, I think Frank fuckin' Black, the human embodiment of Charlie Brown. (How has Stereogum not photoshopped him in a zig zag tee yet?) Thurston calls this track "insane". Eh, it's good, dude. It's "insane" if all you've heard is a toothpick plucking a rubber band for three days.
4. "Signal In The Sky (Let's Go)" - The Apples In Stereo--I like this, but I like AIS. They have much better in them than this.
5. "Walk & Chew Gum" - Optiganally Yours--This is poo. I would crank this into a padded room if I wanted the sole occupant to kill themselves.
6. "Buttercup (I'm A Super Girl)" - Shonen Knife--AKA, "Original Powerpuff Girls". You know what it sounds like already--Japanese women in the attic pretending to be the Ramones, down to the leather jackets, buggy shades, and street-tough poses. Except they forgot they're not supposed to smile or add any synth. Oh well. This fucking rules.
7. "B.L.O.S.S.O.M." - Komeda--Songs like this are what smoke would sound like if smoke indeed could produce sound.
8. "Bubbles" - Dressy Bessy--As airy as the titular character is airheaded, but with actual soul lurking in them there clouds.
9. "Fight The Power" - Bis--Video game pyro. Not a cover.
10. "Don't Look Down" - The Sugarplastic--For real, something might be sucking on you. I love that one episode when the Professor's old buddy comes to visit. His name? Dick Hardly. As the day is long, I tell you. They all think he's decent, but he's actually trying to clone the girls. It slowly dawns on them, but they just don't wanna believe it. "But, but, Professor Dick is good, right?"
11. "The Fight" - Cornelius--A brilliant mash of the intro vocals and Cornelius' own guit-spasms. Sounds like a tussle between the Powerpuff Girls and the Rowdyruff Boys and somebody's gettin' a tongue in the mouth.
12. "Friends Win" - The Bill Doss--As in, "dross".
13. "The Powerpuff Girls (End Theme)" - Bis--Aw man, Bis, you fucked up. And I was gonna invite y'all over for ice cream and cookies. Remember that episode that was all Beatles references? Yeah.
So, 6 out of 13 songs are good. Bad, bad percentage. Thurston--fatherhood has made you more accepting of twee diddle diddle. Boo to that. Yay of course to the whole understanding your spiritual role in the universe, that's fantastic, but boo to all that. The Thurston Moore of 1985 woulda kicked your sappy ass. If he weren't too blazed out to get off the couch.
Powerpuff Girls Thurston Moore Sonic Youth
Monday, June 23, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless, Pt. Cheer Up It May Never Happen
Japan, go-to country for "large Snoopys".
It's true...who hates Snoopy? Who? Think of the worst people you know...I bet they would all still be Snoopy fans, or at least have no beef with him. I'm talking people like Gary Glitter,Gordon Young, Ann Coulter. Full scumbags each one. But do you think they hate Snoopy? Not a chance.
Poor Shermy, he had the best hair of the Peanuts kids, too.
And you know, I'd still never go see a game there.
Snoopy Peanuts
It's true...who hates Snoopy? Who? Think of the worst people you know...I bet they would all still be Snoopy fans, or at least have no beef with him. I'm talking people like Gary Glitter,Gordon Young, Ann Coulter. Full scumbags each one. But do you think they hate Snoopy? Not a chance.
Poor Shermy, he had the best hair of the Peanuts kids, too.
And you know, I'd still never go see a game there.
Snoopy Peanuts
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Dear Revolution, Hurry Up
So no, I haven't touched mitts to Hits Are For Squares yet. Likely won't for awhile. As much as I adore Sonic Youth, I've never been a completist sort. I'm far too busy collecting Snoopy to worry much about scouring Ebay for that orange vinyl 7" of "Silver Rocket". That's why I'm forever grateful to our dear friend Innaweb, as it has provided us with not only the new track "Slow Revolution" but also scans of the CD booklet.
"Slow Revolution" is a Kim track. It's not Rather Ripped at all, but it has been rended; it's psychedelic in the manner of Susan Atkins' latest CT scan. A blanket of notes, chords tickled not tanked. Nothing's gonna change Kim's world. A mood movie that would never make any album.
Now, thoughts on the liners, which the printed matter maniac that long ago erected a mighty pup tent in my soul was anticipating most.
--Catherine Keener, oh Lord. I can only assume if not hope that selections from Sesame Street Presents the Counts Greatest Hits compose the other nine. The "precocious genius of Kathleen Hannah"? That's funny on a couple levels.
--"You can't front on the guitars." Mike D writes the way the Dust Brothers sample! And that note about the Jason Lee cameo, wow, revelatory. Bruce Willis is dead.
--So, Beck could have selected "Star Power". Yet didn't. Suck wee like a teething toddler who found Daddy's new console.
--Curious as to which member of Radiohead wrote that blurb. Surely to fuck it did not take all of them to state the awesomely obvious.
--Bitch, did you just say "proto-hipsters"?
--Allison Anders won.
--There goes Eggers again, trying to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. Watt Meltzer, yo. Bitch, did you just say "throw chingasos"?
--Yeah, man, fuck coffee. Stick your dick right in it! Eetai! Oh shit, people, Eddie Vedder just said "fuck coffee" for a Starbucks compilation! I bet anyone who was holding the actual liners in their hands got the tremors of a die hard boozer when they read that for the first time. So recalcitrant, so pure, so real! My God, is it still possible in this fragmented, amoral day and age for people to still be as heartfelt and uncontaminated as Eddie Vedder?
--Flea's right, actually.
--Where one David fails, another succeeds. Well played.
--Chloe Sevigny once said the Stones were better than the Beatles because they were ostensibly "sexier" and "clever" and "raw", so dangerous! Yeah, I don't know how the status quo ever survived minacious ol' Charlie Watts.
Sonic Youth
"Slow Revolution" is a Kim track. It's not Rather Ripped at all, but it has been rended; it's psychedelic in the manner of Susan Atkins' latest CT scan. A blanket of notes, chords tickled not tanked. Nothing's gonna change Kim's world. A mood movie that would never make any album.
Now, thoughts on the liners, which the printed matter maniac that long ago erected a mighty pup tent in my soul was anticipating most.
--Catherine Keener, oh Lord. I can only assume if not hope that selections from Sesame Street Presents the Counts Greatest Hits compose the other nine. The "precocious genius of Kathleen Hannah"? That's funny on a couple levels.
--"You can't front on the guitars." Mike D writes the way the Dust Brothers sample! And that note about the Jason Lee cameo, wow, revelatory. Bruce Willis is dead.
--So, Beck could have selected "Star Power". Yet didn't. Suck wee like a teething toddler who found Daddy's new console.
--Curious as to which member of Radiohead wrote that blurb. Surely to fuck it did not take all of them to state the awesomely obvious.
--Bitch, did you just say "proto-hipsters"?
--Allison Anders won.
--There goes Eggers again, trying to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. Watt Meltzer, yo. Bitch, did you just say "throw chingasos"?
--Yeah, man, fuck coffee. Stick your dick right in it! Eetai! Oh shit, people, Eddie Vedder just said "fuck coffee" for a Starbucks compilation! I bet anyone who was holding the actual liners in their hands got the tremors of a die hard boozer when they read that for the first time. So recalcitrant, so pure, so real! My God, is it still possible in this fragmented, amoral day and age for people to still be as heartfelt and uncontaminated as Eddie Vedder?
--Flea's right, actually.
--Where one David fails, another succeeds. Well played.
--Chloe Sevigny once said the Stones were better than the Beatles because they were ostensibly "sexier" and "clever" and "raw", so dangerous! Yeah, I don't know how the status quo ever survived minacious ol' Charlie Watts.
Sonic Youth
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Dissecting a Muxtape
Namely, mine. Yes, the new type mixtape, "download proceeding" the new "press record". Since last March, the free service offers the user the opportunity to upload a 12-MP3 "tape" for the enjoyment of the curious.
Some muxtapers care about sequential cohesion. Some of them want to present a clear theme. Some people want their mux to let you peek into their lives. Me? I did this in ten minutes.
"One For Peedi"--Peedi Crakk, Freeway, Young Chris and Beanie Sigel
A hearkening back to the days when Rocafella Records seemed unstoppable, or at least real hard to slow down. This anthemic posse cut not only showcased several of Philly's finest, but necessitated the creation of a video where old white people wear ghetto-ass tees bearing rapper aliases.
"Footsteps in the Dark"--Isley Brothers
Slow, low, sleek...who doesn't want to make sweet curry love to the strains of an Isley Brothers song? Or at least undress very slowly. If this seems weird after a rap song, keep in mind that the delectable lick and cooing vocals were sampled for Ice Cube's atypical classic "It Was a Good Day", while the intro drums were lifted by the late J Dilla for "Won't Do".
"The Pink Room"--Angelo Badalamenti
From the Fire Walk With Me soundtrack, some bizarro Wild West for the ears. This was also sampled for a rap song, Canibus' "Indibisible". (99% of his fans aren't existing!)
"Give It Up"--KC & the Sunshine Band
An almost implausible hit from 1984 for the Once Lord of Disco, both here and in England especially, where the chorus melody has been integrated into many a delightful football chant. Ultimate dumbo brilliance. If you've ever watched the broadcast version of Gaki No Tsukai's 2004 No Laughing game, you may have noticed that the song makes a brief appearance. Possibly my favorite inexplicable use of American music in a Japanese TV show ever.
"Buffalo Stance"--Neneh Cherry
MTV used to be good. Watchable. Listenable. VJs weren't glamorous, but they weren't fargin' idiots either. This ode to empowerment and rebuke to audacious pimps fairly ruled 1989. I can still scarcely believe this was produced by an English guy.
"Union of the Snake"--Duran Duran
If MTV was still good in 1989, it was god in 1984. You couldn't wake up, piss and finish half a bowl of Lucky Charms without a video by the most fashionable British band of ever blessing your eyes. So bright, so sexy, so glam! And yeah, the music was good. Is good, actually. This doesn't have the rep of a "Rio" or "Hungry Like the Wolf" and that's a shame, 'cause "Snake" is an immaculately cut piece of pop, all elegant sonic flourishes, vague versifying, and sky-denting chorus. What the hell does it mean, anyway? Is it about a burgeoning cult? An internal clash threatening to go nuclear? Tantric sex? Well, per Simon Le Bon, the third is the truth. Makes sense when you actually read up on it.
Some muxtapers care about sequential cohesion. Some of them want to present a clear theme. Some people want their mux to let you peek into their lives. Me? I did this in ten minutes.
"One For Peedi"--Peedi Crakk, Freeway, Young Chris and Beanie Sigel
A hearkening back to the days when Rocafella Records seemed unstoppable, or at least real hard to slow down. This anthemic posse cut not only showcased several of Philly's finest, but necessitated the creation of a video where old white people wear ghetto-ass tees bearing rapper aliases.
"Footsteps in the Dark"--Isley Brothers
Slow, low, sleek...who doesn't want to make sweet curry love to the strains of an Isley Brothers song? Or at least undress very slowly. If this seems weird after a rap song, keep in mind that the delectable lick and cooing vocals were sampled for Ice Cube's atypical classic "It Was a Good Day", while the intro drums were lifted by the late J Dilla for "Won't Do".
"The Pink Room"--Angelo Badalamenti
From the Fire Walk With Me soundtrack, some bizarro Wild West for the ears. This was also sampled for a rap song, Canibus' "Indibisible". (99% of his fans aren't existing!)
"Give It Up"--KC & the Sunshine Band
An almost implausible hit from 1984 for the Once Lord of Disco, both here and in England especially, where the chorus melody has been integrated into many a delightful football chant. Ultimate dumbo brilliance. If you've ever watched the broadcast version of Gaki No Tsukai's 2004 No Laughing game, you may have noticed that the song makes a brief appearance. Possibly my favorite inexplicable use of American music in a Japanese TV show ever.
"Buffalo Stance"--Neneh Cherry
MTV used to be good. Watchable. Listenable. VJs weren't glamorous, but they weren't fargin' idiots either. This ode to empowerment and rebuke to audacious pimps fairly ruled 1989. I can still scarcely believe this was produced by an English guy.
"Union of the Snake"--Duran Duran
If MTV was still good in 1989, it was god in 1984. You couldn't wake up, piss and finish half a bowl of Lucky Charms without a video by the most fashionable British band of ever blessing your eyes. So bright, so sexy, so glam! And yeah, the music was good. Is good, actually. This doesn't have the rep of a "Rio" or "Hungry Like the Wolf" and that's a shame, 'cause "Snake" is an immaculately cut piece of pop, all elegant sonic flourishes, vague versifying, and sky-denting chorus. What the hell does it mean, anyway? Is it about a burgeoning cult? An internal clash threatening to go nuclear? Tantric sex? Well, per Simon Le Bon, the third is the truth. Makes sense when you actually read up on it.
Man will immediately sense that woman is with him, on his side, moving in rhythmic unison. There will be a feeling of “oneness” with a deep bodily “yes” from her, and he won't have to fight for his love, or she struggle to give it. It is true sexual union. To make love in this way, utilizing polarity, begins the process of establishing a powerful energy field between and within two bodies. Bio-electricity flowing within this magnetic field follows a helical path, and this explains why the movement of the famed serpent power , the kundalini energy, located at the base of the male spine will be experienced as a forceful unfolding, jerking, rising snake. In complementary style, the root of the female kundalini energy lies not in the spinal base, as mistakenly believed, but in the breasts. This so, because energy cannot be raised from a negative center. Once the breasts and heart of a woman are fully resonant, this snake will implode, gracefully unwinding, and giving way within.
"Nasty Like College Chicks"--Andre Nickatina
Ain't a damn thing to dislike. Voice like a West Coast Rockness. Hilarious title. Best intro in rap music history. Top 5 chorus in the history of the genre.
"Pussyhole"--Dizzee Rascal
A dis song, but I forget who towards. Dizzee really shines over belabored samples.
"Have A Nice Day"--Roxanne Shante
Now here is a dis track with an unforgettable talent: KRS-One. See, Blastmaster kinda ran his mouth in "The Bridge Is Over", taking shots not only at Juice Crew member MC Shan, but also the sole female of that clique, Roxanne Shante. To many, this couldn't help but be a one-sided swedge: compared to the rest of the Juice Crew, KRS was going after the comparatively weaker MCs. If Kool G Rap and Big Daddy Kane were the Sonny and Michael, Shan and Shante were more like Fredo and Connie. (Biz Markie, by the way, totally Clemenza.) But what if Connie recruited Michael to teach her the art of armed combat? The result was the relentless "answer" to Kris' crude dismissal. (The final verse is the killer, where Scott La Rock gets jibbed and acronyms be mad fun.)
"Hands Up"--Red Collar
What is it about North Carolina rock that's so forceful yet thoughtful? Of course you've never heard of Red Collar and you've never heard the EP from which this song was taken. Get smart like Steve Carrell's agent.
"Jet"--Paul McCartney and Wings
Horns to hearken the arrival of a top 5 songwriter in the history of ever. Oh yes. You may cringe at the fact that Macca wrote this song in honor of his pet horse, but boo to you and all those who. Ooh, I wish it was about lying around in bed to end war!
"Just A Song Before I Go"--Crosby, Stills and Nash
Now that's an end piece. See, this guy says to Graham Nash, he says, 'Man, we're gonna be at the airport in 15 minutes, ain't no way you can write a song in that time! It's like my pimpin' hero--too short!" Graham just rolls his eyes and says, "Kid, I got this." And he did. The ballyhooed CSN vocal harmonies and folk melodies are hit-miss with me, but this one hits heavenly.
Muxtape
Ain't a damn thing to dislike. Voice like a West Coast Rockness. Hilarious title. Best intro in rap music history. Top 5 chorus in the history of the genre.
"Pussyhole"--Dizzee Rascal
A dis song, but I forget who towards. Dizzee really shines over belabored samples.
"Have A Nice Day"--Roxanne Shante
Now here is a dis track with an unforgettable talent: KRS-One. See, Blastmaster kinda ran his mouth in "The Bridge Is Over", taking shots not only at Juice Crew member MC Shan, but also the sole female of that clique, Roxanne Shante. To many, this couldn't help but be a one-sided swedge: compared to the rest of the Juice Crew, KRS was going after the comparatively weaker MCs. If Kool G Rap and Big Daddy Kane were the Sonny and Michael, Shan and Shante were more like Fredo and Connie. (Biz Markie, by the way, totally Clemenza.) But what if Connie recruited Michael to teach her the art of armed combat? The result was the relentless "answer" to Kris' crude dismissal. (The final verse is the killer, where Scott La Rock gets jibbed and acronyms be mad fun.)
"Hands Up"--Red Collar
What is it about North Carolina rock that's so forceful yet thoughtful? Of course you've never heard of Red Collar and you've never heard the EP from which this song was taken. Get smart like Steve Carrell's agent.
"Jet"--Paul McCartney and Wings
Horns to hearken the arrival of a top 5 songwriter in the history of ever. Oh yes. You may cringe at the fact that Macca wrote this song in honor of his pet horse, but boo to you and all those who. Ooh, I wish it was about lying around in bed to end war!
"Just A Song Before I Go"--Crosby, Stills and Nash
Now that's an end piece. See, this guy says to Graham Nash, he says, 'Man, we're gonna be at the airport in 15 minutes, ain't no way you can write a song in that time! It's like my pimpin' hero--too short!" Graham just rolls his eyes and says, "Kid, I got this." And he did. The ballyhooed CSN vocal harmonies and folk melodies are hit-miss with me, but this one hits heavenly.
Muxtape
Monday, June 16, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless...You Can't Rhyme, Bitch!
Or, what happens when a rapper tries to actually freestyle during an MC battle. Poor Blueprint.
My favorite thing about school was "leaving".
Nice to know I won't be the first author to have done the Snoopy Dance when I'm made official.
The power of Peanuts is incredible. The influence of those panels, immeasurable.
Headline of the year. Admire the research, also! Reciting Lucy's litany. Impressive.
If Charlie Brown had made it to the majors, he'd have worn the Cubby pinstripes. And been renamed "Steve Trachsel".
Snoopy Peanuts
My favorite thing about school was "leaving".
Nice to know I won't be the first author to have done the Snoopy Dance when I'm made official.
The power of Peanuts is incredible. The influence of those panels, immeasurable.
Headline of the year. Admire the research, also! Reciting Lucy's litany. Impressive.
If Charlie Brown had made it to the majors, he'd have worn the Cubby pinstripes. And been renamed "Steve Trachsel".
Snoopy Peanuts
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Stuck on 38?
Unless a New York friendo is nice enough to hook me up with an extra, looks like the Sonic Youth July 4th gig will not be my 39th SY gig. Oh well. It'll probably be too hot anyway.
Sonic Youth
Sonic Youth
Friday, June 13, 2008
They Are the Champions
It's really actually rather Cooly McCool and the Cool Kids when you find a reality show that doesn't suck. It's further breezly brewin' when one of the contestants seems like a normal, levelheaded, talented person and you start to root for them. Then they win. Congratulations, Top Chef Stephanie Izard. Has any reality show winner managed to utter "holy shit" as many times as her? I don't think so. (Interesting tidbit here: Season 3 winner Hung was encouraged to try out for the show by Season 2 finalist Marcel. Stephanie was likewise persuaded to audition by her friend, Season 3 finalist Dale.)
Unsurprisingly, Alexander Ovechkin became the first NHL player to take home the Lester Pearson, Hart, Richard, and Art Ross trophies in one year. Okay, so the Richard hasn't been around that long, but don't try and diminish. That just makes you sound like a still-bitter Penguins fan. Oh my God, awards, must sweep.
Alexander Ovechkin Stephanie Izard Top Chef
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless, and Often Distressingly Ecumenical
Pardon me, I've been waylaid yet again by health issues. Although thankfully they don't seem too serious. I have a doctors appointment on Monday to see about this neck and head pain, and a visit with the Mid-Maryland Musculoskeletal Institute on Tuesday. The odds of anything serious such as the presence of a tumor, aneurysm, clot, blah, are exceedingly unlikely, although naturally I've worried about it to distraction. So let's get positive. Let's get Peanuts.
I'm positive that politics are 'bout to drive me batty!
I'm positive that September 2nd is going to be glorious. Pumpkin magic!
I'm positive that jumpin' in the pool sounds real goddamn good right now.
I'm positive that the new Deerhoof will continue one of the longest winning streaks in rock music.
I'm positive, perhaps most of all, that the New York Yankees suck infinite wee-wee and no doubt our poor beloved beagle is participating in this giveaway under extreme duress. Bastards. Have fun blowing Joba Chamberlain's arm out.
Snoopy Peanuts
I'm positive that politics are 'bout to drive me batty!
I'm positive that September 2nd is going to be glorious. Pumpkin magic!
I'm positive that jumpin' in the pool sounds real goddamn good right now.
I'm positive that the new Deerhoof will continue one of the longest winning streaks in rock music.
I'm positive, perhaps most of all, that the New York Yankees suck infinite wee-wee and no doubt our poor beloved beagle is participating in this giveaway under extreme duress. Bastards. Have fun blowing Joba Chamberlain's arm out.
Snoopy Peanuts
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Mediocre Reality Show Contestant vs. Blogosphere FITE
According to unlikely Top Chef finalist Lisa Fernandes, bloggers ain't shit but bitches and tricks.
You know, a show like Top Chef is strange to watch in that as viewers we can't taste what the contestants are presenting. That beef tenderloin looks awesome; those butterscotch scallops make me want a heaping helping of hospital food! Also, the human palate is a funny thing. How could anyone like wasabi and white chocolate? Yet on this season of Top Chef, that was a winning dish.
So the viewer has to go by what sounds good/bad, or looks good/bad, or ultimately what the judges tell us worked. Or did not. And that X factor...personality.
This is why there was such a stink raised among fans when Sam Talbot didn't make it to the finale. Because he's so freakin' hawt, why can't we keep looking at him? His dish couldn't have been that bad!
This is why Season 3 champ Hung Huynh was so hated despite being demonstrably the best chef of his class. He constantly bigged up his concoctions and degraded the work of his competitors. Also, his food may or may not have had a soul.
This is why Lisa Fernandes is arguably the most hated chef to ever compete on the show. She doesn't seem to wash her hair much; she has a pierced eyebrow; she is gay (yes, this still kinda bothers some people); she has difficulties working with her peers; she has a tendency to adopt a defensive posture and twist her face into a most unbecoming snarl whenever she is brought before the Judges Table for possible elimination; and oh yeah, she's been up for elimination in six consecutive episodes, including the first part of the finale, aired this week.
The Internet has spewed some insane vitriol towards her these past few weeks, some even accusing the shows producers of keeping Lisa around for the sake of either ratings or improving the odds of the first female Top Chef. This is all, of course, bullhonkey. Lisa is still on because, week after week, someone else has managed to suck just a little more.
I myself had no particular problem with Fernandes. Then I read that goddamn interview.
This is amazing. She could have handled the reality of her less-than-stellar online reputation with humor and aplomb, instead she goes the woefully predictable route of "bloggers are pathetic basement-dwelling nerds". Her statement is arrogant, wrongheaded, presumptuous, and should be insulting to anyone who maintains a blog as part of their everyday life.
Lisa Fernandes Top Chef
You know, a show like Top Chef is strange to watch in that as viewers we can't taste what the contestants are presenting. That beef tenderloin looks awesome; those butterscotch scallops make me want a heaping helping of hospital food! Also, the human palate is a funny thing. How could anyone like wasabi and white chocolate? Yet on this season of Top Chef, that was a winning dish.
So the viewer has to go by what sounds good/bad, or looks good/bad, or ultimately what the judges tell us worked. Or did not. And that X factor...personality.
This is why there was such a stink raised among fans when Sam Talbot didn't make it to the finale. Because he's so freakin' hawt, why can't we keep looking at him? His dish couldn't have been that bad!
This is why Season 3 champ Hung Huynh was so hated despite being demonstrably the best chef of his class. He constantly bigged up his concoctions and degraded the work of his competitors. Also, his food may or may not have had a soul.
This is why Lisa Fernandes is arguably the most hated chef to ever compete on the show. She doesn't seem to wash her hair much; she has a pierced eyebrow; she is gay (yes, this still kinda bothers some people); she has difficulties working with her peers; she has a tendency to adopt a defensive posture and twist her face into a most unbecoming snarl whenever she is brought before the Judges Table for possible elimination; and oh yeah, she's been up for elimination in six consecutive episodes, including the first part of the finale, aired this week.
The Internet has spewed some insane vitriol towards her these past few weeks, some even accusing the shows producers of keeping Lisa around for the sake of either ratings or improving the odds of the first female Top Chef. This is all, of course, bullhonkey. Lisa is still on because, week after week, someone else has managed to suck just a little more.
I myself had no particular problem with Fernandes. Then I read that goddamn interview.
Oh no, I don't read the blogs – you couldn't pay me to read the blogs. I don't want to know what people who can't even afford to eat in my restaurant, let alone know how to cook have to say about me....
This is amazing. She could have handled the reality of her less-than-stellar online reputation with humor and aplomb, instead she goes the woefully predictable route of "bloggers are pathetic basement-dwelling nerds". Her statement is arrogant, wrongheaded, presumptuous, and should be insulting to anyone who maintains a blog as part of their everyday life.
Lisa Fernandes Top Chef
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Smooth Corner
Bent Corner is alive...no thanks, per Rick's latest post, to GoDaddy, the web hosting provider that also--ahem--is bringing you this blog. Sucks what I may have to look forward to, but nice indeed to see the mayor of online Hagerstown will be back in business.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless, the Wait Near Endless
Sometimes, nothing but a Peanuts reference will do, no matter the topic.
Lakers vs. Celtics. Uh, go Boston? Geesh...I need a thorough bathing. If not purging.
Snoopy supports love. That's all you need to know.
Another politician evokes the pigskin.
Damn, slow week.
Snoopy Peanuts
Lakers vs. Celtics. Uh, go Boston? Geesh...I need a thorough bathing. If not purging.
Snoopy supports love. That's all you need to know.
Another politician evokes the pigskin.
Damn, slow week.
Snoopy Peanuts
Monday, June 2, 2008
In Summary: Heart Attack, Not Funny; Falling Through the Floor, Way Funny
What's almost as bad as a mild heart attack? When media reports refer to you by the fictional character you portrayed on television in the headline of a story about your mild heart attack.
I kinda got rehooked on Frasier after weeks of recovery spent watching late-night airings on Lifetime. It's kind of the worst-kept secret of the past 20 years of TV that David Hyde Pierce pretty much owned that show. Take the episode where his character, Niles Crane, gets parenting pangs and takes to toting around a bag of flour like a baby. He ends up tearing it, setting it on fire and best of all, having a nightmare where his flour baby is kidnapped, prompting the captors to send muffins in the mail. That is hysterical, and indicative of the class writing that show was blessed with. It was kinda too good for Kelsey Grammer, really. You think Grammer could pull off the line "Fuck my cock!" in a Janeane Garofalo comedy? Hell no.
Kelsey Grammer
I kinda got rehooked on Frasier after weeks of recovery spent watching late-night airings on Lifetime. It's kind of the worst-kept secret of the past 20 years of TV that David Hyde Pierce pretty much owned that show. Take the episode where his character, Niles Crane, gets parenting pangs and takes to toting around a bag of flour like a baby. He ends up tearing it, setting it on fire and best of all, having a nightmare where his flour baby is kidnapped, prompting the captors to send muffins in the mail. That is hysterical, and indicative of the class writing that show was blessed with. It was kinda too good for Kelsey Grammer, really. You think Grammer could pull off the line "Fuck my cock!" in a Janeane Garofalo comedy? Hell no.
Kelsey Grammer
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless, Pt. Living Well
It's happened again...a presidential election forthcoming and I've already given up and looked to the dog for salvation.
Now, when you slag Hillary, don't forget to use the same unflattering pics everyone does. I'd say only use photos of Obama the Great that show him in a godlike glow, but oh wow, aren't they all?
I have a toy of Snoopy on his typewriter for pretty much the same purpose.
Reimaginings like this are far more palatable than the frequent "porno Peanuts" creations I see here and there on the Net. Better drawn, too.
You know who really lost their blankey? The Spurs. Not even the state of Texas feels sorrowful.
Reminder: the Penguins are not going to win the most beloved trophy in sports. They may win one more game. At home. But when they go back to Detroit, it's all over baby.
This article reminds me of the AP story concerning the 2005 tsunami. How can a stuffed dog represent so much?
And how can simple strips bring in so much moolah? Well, Peanuts did it again, and yet again I bring you the panels to gaze upon. I can totally see why the Sunday went for more than double the weekdayer. Not only larger, but also later animated for A Boy Named Charlie Brown.
Snoopy Peanuts
Now, when you slag Hillary, don't forget to use the same unflattering pics everyone does. I'd say only use photos of Obama the Great that show him in a godlike glow, but oh wow, aren't they all?
I have a toy of Snoopy on his typewriter for pretty much the same purpose.
Reimaginings like this are far more palatable than the frequent "porno Peanuts" creations I see here and there on the Net. Better drawn, too.
You know who really lost their blankey? The Spurs. Not even the state of Texas feels sorrowful.
Reminder: the Penguins are not going to win the most beloved trophy in sports. They may win one more game. At home. But when they go back to Detroit, it's all over baby.
This article reminds me of the AP story concerning the 2005 tsunami. How can a stuffed dog represent so much?
And how can simple strips bring in so much moolah? Well, Peanuts did it again, and yet again I bring you the panels to gaze upon. I can totally see why the Sunday went for more than double the weekdayer. Not only larger, but also later animated for A Boy Named Charlie Brown.
Snoopy Peanuts
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Starpowerbucks
The long-awaited Sonic Youth "not a greatest hits" compilation for Starbucks will finally grace select counters on June 10 (if you are Starbucks-phobic, or just don't live in or near the eight major cities chosen to stock the CD, it will also be available for online order). We're talking 15 Youth classics selected by their famous buddies and one new track cobbled together just for this collection, with each celeb contributing a paragraph or two or three on why they picked the song they did. Will I be buying it? Of course! You can't download liner notes.
Poring over the tracklisting, a few things become apparent:
--The four best choices are "Disappearer", "Stones", "The World Looks Red" (seriously, there's a "the" at the beginning; Mike Gira will have several minor strokes off this) and "Rain On Tin". Three of which were picked by women, keeping in line with the legacy of SY as shaped by Kim Gordon.
--Explanations I'm most looking forward to: Radiohead, Diablo Cody, Dave Eggers, Mike Watt and David Cross.
--Rumored contributors who missed the deadline (I guess): Marc Jacobs (who likely would have picked "Kool Thing" anyway) and Jeff Tweedy. Most shocking non-inclusion: Cate Blanchett, whose husband once told her to hold a gun the way Sonic Youth play their guitars.
--Some of these are depressingly predictable--"Bull in the Heather" and "100%" are so worn that the band can't even push the throttle on them live anymore. Also, I'm gonna try not to fall out of my seat when Diablo Cody's award-winning writing reveals that "Superstar" is in fact the only SY song she's ever heard, and it's a friggin' cover. "Expressway" is as cool as a penguin installing an air conditioner in an igloo, but the Lips covered it live yonks ago. "Teenage Riot"? Hey...obvious pick from an obvious man.
--I'm still kind of bemused over "Kool Thing". Not the fact of its inclusion--we are talking arguably SY's most known original track; the first single off their major label debut; aaaand it still makes the sheep go baaaaa. The stunner is who chose it. I know the members of Radiohead have professed ooooh-hooo crazy love for the Youth in the past, to not only the media, but the band members themselves. But..."Kool Thing"? Really? Not, say, "Inhuman"? Something a little more rickety-rauckity (not a spelling error) and a little less rockin'?
Some have boo-hooed the reality that one of the most influential bands of the past 30 years will be having a greatest (non) hits album released via an "evil" coffee corp. They find it not only depressing, but legacy-denting.
Well, insofar as damaging Sonic Youth's reputation...it's not like Steve Shelley got caught with kiddie porn on his Mac. It's a goddamn CD, all claptrappings aside. You can buy it or not buy it.
About the whole matter being deflating, I'm not sure I entirely disagree with that. I mean, no one picked "Starpower". Shoulda asked James Iha.
Sonic Youth
Starbucks
Poring over the tracklisting, a few things become apparent:
--The four best choices are "Disappearer", "Stones", "The World Looks Red" (seriously, there's a "the" at the beginning; Mike Gira will have several minor strokes off this) and "Rain On Tin". Three of which were picked by women, keeping in line with the legacy of SY as shaped by Kim Gordon.
--Explanations I'm most looking forward to: Radiohead, Diablo Cody, Dave Eggers, Mike Watt and David Cross.
--Rumored contributors who missed the deadline (I guess): Marc Jacobs (who likely would have picked "Kool Thing" anyway) and Jeff Tweedy. Most shocking non-inclusion: Cate Blanchett, whose husband once told her to hold a gun the way Sonic Youth play their guitars.
--Some of these are depressingly predictable--"Bull in the Heather" and "100%" are so worn that the band can't even push the throttle on them live anymore. Also, I'm gonna try not to fall out of my seat when Diablo Cody's award-winning writing reveals that "Superstar" is in fact the only SY song she's ever heard, and it's a friggin' cover. "Expressway" is as cool as a penguin installing an air conditioner in an igloo, but the Lips covered it live yonks ago. "Teenage Riot"? Hey...obvious pick from an obvious man.
--I'm still kind of bemused over "Kool Thing". Not the fact of its inclusion--we are talking arguably SY's most known original track; the first single off their major label debut; aaaand it still makes the sheep go baaaaa. The stunner is who chose it. I know the members of Radiohead have professed ooooh-hooo crazy love for the Youth in the past, to not only the media, but the band members themselves. But..."Kool Thing"? Really? Not, say, "Inhuman"? Something a little more rickety-rauckity (not a spelling error) and a little less rockin'?
Some have boo-hooed the reality that one of the most influential bands of the past 30 years will be having a greatest (non) hits album released via an "evil" coffee corp. They find it not only depressing, but legacy-denting.
Well, insofar as damaging Sonic Youth's reputation...it's not like Steve Shelley got caught with kiddie porn on his Mac. It's a goddamn CD, all claptrappings aside. You can buy it or not buy it.
About the whole matter being deflating, I'm not sure I entirely disagree with that. I mean, no one picked "Starpower". Shoulda asked James Iha.
Sonic Youth
Starbucks
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless, and Necessitating Additional Shelf Space
Articles like this may cause me to give a crap about NASCAR! Or not. All it really does is make me wish Snoopy's Reunion was on DVD.
Articles like this almost make me wish I knew how to drive. Although I guess I could just go to the Mason-Dixon Auto Auction, pick up a cheap car, park it, and just plaster it with decals.
I could totally see Charlie Brown growing up to be a struggling writer. He'd make Alex Haley's rejection slip pile look puny.
Nice to see all you folks coming here after Googling "greg felton voice schroeder". Mr. Felton's performance in Be My Valentine reigns still as the best Schroeder ever voiced, although that isn't too dissimilar from being known as the fastest turtle.
Sports and politics should never mix; you get a lotta dumb bets between mayors involving food. Should never mix unless, of course, it's during a patented TJMD Peanuts roundup.
I always try to end these posts with the best item, and this week is no different. Behold, forthcoming DVDs from Warner! Just in time for the infallible process that will decide which schmuck is going to run the nation, I can't wait, it's You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown! (And you can certainly expect a pre-release review of said special on this blog soon.) But the big news...the sweetest plum...the ripest berry...It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, hitting shelves in early September. Yeah, I know. I also know that the cover art is incredible. It's Magic, Charlie Brown as a bonus feature is almost too much to bear. It's about damn time these scarcer specials start seeing wide release.
Snoopy Peanuts
Articles like this almost make me wish I knew how to drive. Although I guess I could just go to the Mason-Dixon Auto Auction, pick up a cheap car, park it, and just plaster it with decals.
I could totally see Charlie Brown growing up to be a struggling writer. He'd make Alex Haley's rejection slip pile look puny.
Nice to see all you folks coming here after Googling "greg felton voice schroeder". Mr. Felton's performance in Be My Valentine reigns still as the best Schroeder ever voiced, although that isn't too dissimilar from being known as the fastest turtle.
Sports and politics should never mix; you get a lotta dumb bets between mayors involving food. Should never mix unless, of course, it's during a patented TJMD Peanuts roundup.
I always try to end these posts with the best item, and this week is no different. Behold, forthcoming DVDs from Warner! Just in time for the infallible process that will decide which schmuck is going to run the nation, I can't wait, it's You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown! (And you can certainly expect a pre-release review of said special on this blog soon.) But the big news...the sweetest plum...the ripest berry...It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, hitting shelves in early September. Yeah, I know. I also know that the cover art is incredible. It's Magic, Charlie Brown as a bonus feature is almost too much to bear. It's about damn time these scarcer specials start seeing wide release.
Snoopy Peanuts
Friday, May 16, 2008
Dead Men (And Dogs) Wear No Shoes
Kurt Cobain Converse sneaks...it was inevitable. The only thing that shocks me is the $50-60 price tag.
Admittedly, if you're going to have a shoe all funked out with art, it may as well be Chucks. There's even a site devoted to it: Punk Your Chucks. It was a year and a half ago that I found that chunk of Interweb; it looked far different, and had nowhere near the celebrity endorsement. I was impressed enough to deem their artists worthy of adding another item to my already-impressive Snoopy collection. I sent the pictures I wanted depicted on said shoes, got a quote, sent payment, and waited.
My punked pair arrived two days before my birthday, and I was beyond thrilled with the finished product. I've only worn them once, choosing instead to keep them on display as they deserve. They will remain forever striking. They were, for a time, unique.
Hell, I'm not mad at the good folks at punkyourchucks.com. A little frustrated, maybe. Part of the appeal of getting some Snoopys from them was that they did not have a template pair when I made my request. If anybody orders the "Snoopy" model from the site, they're ordering my shoes. Instead of sending in their own friggin' idea, you see.
Oh well...a bitchin' sneaker is a bitchin' sneaker.
Kurt Cobain Snoopy
Admittedly, if you're going to have a shoe all funked out with art, it may as well be Chucks. There's even a site devoted to it: Punk Your Chucks. It was a year and a half ago that I found that chunk of Interweb; it looked far different, and had nowhere near the celebrity endorsement. I was impressed enough to deem their artists worthy of adding another item to my already-impressive Snoopy collection. I sent the pictures I wanted depicted on said shoes, got a quote, sent payment, and waited.
My punked pair arrived two days before my birthday, and I was beyond thrilled with the finished product. I've only worn them once, choosing instead to keep them on display as they deserve. They will remain forever striking. They were, for a time, unique.
Hell, I'm not mad at the good folks at punkyourchucks.com. A little frustrated, maybe. Part of the appeal of getting some Snoopys from them was that they did not have a template pair when I made my request. If anybody orders the "Snoopy" model from the site, they're ordering my shoes. Instead of sending in their own friggin' idea, you see.
Oh well...a bitchin' sneaker is a bitchin' sneaker.
Kurt Cobain Snoopy
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Music Unifies...More or Less
Youtube find of the day, possibly week (there are 4 days left). The members of Redd Kross, Wendy Horowitz, and assorted West Coast scenesters sing "Take Me Home Country Road" at the dinner table while the girls from Shonen Knife sort of just stare off into space.
Redd Kross Shonen Knife
Redd Kross Shonen Knife
Monday, May 12, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless: Let's Get You Medicated, Charlie Brown
Stories like these could go a long way towards making me like non-Wii golf more.
Security Cinnamon Toast sounds real good right about now.
One of the greatest blog names (and header pictures) in existence.
The Stanley Cup finals will be Pittsburgh vs. Detroit, bar miracles in either conference finals. I can't believe I'm rooting for the Red Wings, but I can't handle Sidney Crosby hoisting the greatest trophy in sports over his bird-like frame.
Politics and the ball gag is a passion that will never be expunged. The Barackists who love making the comparison between Obama/Hillary and Charlie Brown/Lucy need to consider the wisdom of likening their dude to the most profound loser in history. Found a piece that manages to work Linus into the mix (sincerest apologies for the Ann Coulter ad off to the side).
Let's end it with money...yet again Peanuts strips go big at auction. For those curious to see what the winners paid mega for, click here and here. Snoopy sells!
Snoopy Peanuts
Security Cinnamon Toast sounds real good right about now.
One of the greatest blog names (and header pictures) in existence.
The Stanley Cup finals will be Pittsburgh vs. Detroit, bar miracles in either conference finals. I can't believe I'm rooting for the Red Wings, but I can't handle Sidney Crosby hoisting the greatest trophy in sports over his bird-like frame.
Politics and the ball gag is a passion that will never be expunged. The Barackists who love making the comparison between Obama/Hillary and Charlie Brown/Lucy need to consider the wisdom of likening their dude to the most profound loser in history. Found a piece that manages to work Linus into the mix (sincerest apologies for the Ann Coulter ad off to the side).
Let's end it with money...yet again Peanuts strips go big at auction. For those curious to see what the winners paid mega for, click here and here. Snoopy sells!
Snoopy Peanuts
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Announcing, A Revolution In Blogging
Lately, the things I've been looking forward to most are books. The newest Complete Peanuts, two new Sonic Youth biographies, and the latest novel from my favorite living writer, Joseph Wambaugh.
As a blogger, I wondered how much space and time I would devote to these blocks of paper as I finish them. Anyone who has submitted to one of my reviews knows I don't specialize in brevity. But then again, I don't trust blogs that review whole books in less than two paragraphs. Seriously. Even Hop On Pop is worth seven or so.
Talking with Patrick about the challenges of book reviews, I wondered aloud why no one live blogged books. Political debates, sporting events, award shows, television episodes...why doesn't anyone do a minute-by-minute chronicle of reading a book? Beyond it would be intensely impractical, as I don't know one person who could or would want to finish a 250+ page tome in one sitting, or would spread the experience across several posts over several days. Beyond you'd get a lot of posts looking like this:
Page 4--First line of dialogue, and it's a doozy.
Page 18--Worst metaphor involving sea shells and orgasms EVER.
Page 24--Just read a sentence that went 75 words. I need a drink.
See? In the wrong hands...not a good idea.
But in the right hands...oh, it's still a shitty idea. But lest y'all forget, this be's the Interweb, where mental manure flourishes. I won't be engaging in "live-reading" anytime soon, but I think someone somewhere should. It's one of the only virgin pathways left.
As a blogger, I wondered how much space and time I would devote to these blocks of paper as I finish them. Anyone who has submitted to one of my reviews knows I don't specialize in brevity. But then again, I don't trust blogs that review whole books in less than two paragraphs. Seriously. Even Hop On Pop is worth seven or so.
Talking with Patrick about the challenges of book reviews, I wondered aloud why no one live blogged books. Political debates, sporting events, award shows, television episodes...why doesn't anyone do a minute-by-minute chronicle of reading a book? Beyond it would be intensely impractical, as I don't know one person who could or would want to finish a 250+ page tome in one sitting, or would spread the experience across several posts over several days. Beyond you'd get a lot of posts looking like this:
Page 4--First line of dialogue, and it's a doozy.
Page 18--Worst metaphor involving sea shells and orgasms EVER.
Page 24--Just read a sentence that went 75 words. I need a drink.
See? In the wrong hands...not a good idea.
But in the right hands...oh, it's still a shitty idea. But lest y'all forget, this be's the Interweb, where mental manure flourishes. I won't be engaging in "live-reading" anytime soon, but I think someone somewhere should. It's one of the only virgin pathways left.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Peanuts Is Timeless, and Allergic To Tramadol
Or is that just me? Second time in the ER in three weeks, are you serious....
A nice mix of football gag references last week, some sports articles, some political articles (of course...and may I say again how the hysterical animus Obama supporters feel for Hillary Clinton actually makes me like her more?) and...and...computer software.
Burger King is doing gangbusters lately, no small thanks to the recent Snoopy promotion. Speaking of which, my collection stopped at 6 of 8 toys. I was only able to pick up the surgeon before the promotion ended. Yard sales...Ebay...I summon thee to fulfill the quest.
I like when I come across writing that calls on obscure Peanuts gags. Let's give it up for the chilling effects of Beethoven on a tow-headed prodigy and Lucy's learning disability. That's knowing your 'Nuts, folks.
You know what's not knowing your 'Nuts? Read this and find out.
Snoopy Peanuts
A nice mix of football gag references last week, some sports articles, some political articles (of course...and may I say again how the hysterical animus Obama supporters feel for Hillary Clinton actually makes me like her more?) and...and...computer software.
Burger King is doing gangbusters lately, no small thanks to the recent Snoopy promotion. Speaking of which, my collection stopped at 6 of 8 toys. I was only able to pick up the surgeon before the promotion ended. Yard sales...Ebay...I summon thee to fulfill the quest.
I like when I come across writing that calls on obscure Peanuts gags. Let's give it up for the chilling effects of Beethoven on a tow-headed prodigy and Lucy's learning disability. That's knowing your 'Nuts, folks.
You know what's not knowing your 'Nuts? Read this and find out.
Snoopy Peanuts
Friday, May 2, 2008
Top Chef Chicago: The Midterm Report
Yes, it's that time again. Hands up, utensils down! No, wait...scratch that...reverse. With Season 4 of Top Chef now at the halfway point, it's only right that I take some time to go over what and who has been. This season, however, there's a little something extra: playlists submitted by the competing chefs. Operating as I do under the belief that a person's musical tastes is 30% of their personal worth, it's only fair to consider the songs that these yen-ta-bes crank for inspiration when evaluating if they got kicked off too soon, should already be gone, or will make it the distance.
NIMMA (sent home in Ep. 1)
AMUSED DOUCHE: The only black contestant of the new season, Nimma came from a hermetic Muslim family. She has something to prove, then. Just like last season's Clay, her father is evoked quite a bit. Hmm.
WHO YOU CALLIN' SUCCOTASH?: While Nimma may balk at the allegedly old-fashioned methods of child-rearing adopted by her folks, it's clear that single-minded, near-distrustful reticence runs in the family. She eschews the wonders of the pool table and couched small talk for focus and sleep. "I'm not here to make friends", she tells the audience.
YOU NEED MORE BACON: Nor was Nimma there to make edible food. After blowing the Quickfire to hell and daring to serve Bourdain the God a plate of supremely over-salted shrimp, Nimma was sent packing, to retreat back into a world of silent disapproval, suffocating overprotection, and persistent overcompensation.
ONE MORE CHANCE: I can't fully co-sign the early dismissal of anyone who puts "Rock Lobster" on their playlist. Even if they do commit the sin of sloppy shrimp.
LONG KISS GOODNIGHT: The appearance of LL Cool J's "Doin' It" is followed by, "One word...aroused." Uh. Not at all. No. "Chewin' it, oohin' it, all while we're doin' it"? Look, I'm down with the doing of it. The oohing of it also is agreeable. But chewing it? Chewing what? That's probably second to "When will I die?" for questions I simultaneously desperately want answered but desperately don't want answered, if you catch the breeze.
VALERIE (Debbie Downer'ed in Ep. 2)
AMUSED DOUCHE: Valerie was one of a handful of Chicago chefs to join the fray.
WHO YOU CALLIN' SUCCOTASH?: To some, facial resemblance to Rachel Dratch is undesirable, maybe even off-putting. Admittedly, it's not as good as looking like Dratch's buddy Tina Fey. But damnit, Dratch is almost as funny, and isn't that what matters?
YOU NEED MORE BACON: Despite proclamations of "upscale" proficiency, Val came across in her limited stay as outmatched and overwhelmed when it came to both tiers of the "game": in her final challenge, she made blinis, a food she was unable to pronounce correctly, much less make to satisfaction. In tight competition with Nikki's koala-droppings (I mean,mushrooms) the savvier Antonia threw Valerie smack into the grill of a Greyhound at the Judges Table. You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to scold 'em, Valerie.
ONE MORE CHANCE: A list of favorite songs that includes "Southern Cross" (one of the great overlooked songs of the past 35 years) and "Roam" suggests someone with a bit more gumption than was displayed over 90 heavily-edited minutes of television.
LONG KISS GOODNIGHT: Hey...that means the two chefs who included B-52s songs on their playlists were auf'ed first. How the hell could Andy Cohen let that happen?!
ERIK (imposed his way out in Ep. 3)
AMUSED DOUCHE: San Fran-based badass who has parlayed a lackluster showing on a TV show into a burgeoning business for custom-designed "tattooed" chef coats. Probably had his life changed the first time he heard Motley Crue, they let him know that there was a place for the freaks like him, dude.
WHO YOU CALLIN' SUCCOTASH?: Reminded me of last season's "Bruno Boy" Joey--gruff personality masking a heart sweet as a candy apple. Cooking skills? Maybe.
YOU NEED MORE BACON: Erik knew his corn dogs would get soggy whilst in transport to the block party, yet must have figured that someone else's dish would be shittier, or the soft pups would shine regardless thanks to their creators own innate awesome bursting through in every bite. Either way...loser. Erik also thinks Mexican food is "for the street people" and could not in any way constitute "fine dining". As someone who has found high-end Mexican food even in her back-asswards hometown, let me say: Erik, yaya tome una mierda.
ONE MORE CHANCE: Lost his virginity to "The Tide is High". "I'm gonna be your nuuuumber one."
LONG KISS GOODNIGHT: Points for Slayer, but not for spelling it "Rain In Blood". The song is "Raining Blood" and the album is Reign in Blood. Remember that "you don't have to understand your music in order to enjoy it?" commercial that ran not not too long ago? That always pissed me off.
MANUEL (kicked off in Ep. 4)
NIMMA (sent home in Ep. 1)
AMUSED DOUCHE: The only black contestant of the new season, Nimma came from a hermetic Muslim family. She has something to prove, then. Just like last season's Clay, her father is evoked quite a bit. Hmm.
WHO YOU CALLIN' SUCCOTASH?: While Nimma may balk at the allegedly old-fashioned methods of child-rearing adopted by her folks, it's clear that single-minded, near-distrustful reticence runs in the family. She eschews the wonders of the pool table and couched small talk for focus and sleep. "I'm not here to make friends", she tells the audience.
YOU NEED MORE BACON: Nor was Nimma there to make edible food. After blowing the Quickfire to hell and daring to serve Bourdain the God a plate of supremely over-salted shrimp, Nimma was sent packing, to retreat back into a world of silent disapproval, suffocating overprotection, and persistent overcompensation.
ONE MORE CHANCE: I can't fully co-sign the early dismissal of anyone who puts "Rock Lobster" on their playlist. Even if they do commit the sin of sloppy shrimp.
LONG KISS GOODNIGHT: The appearance of LL Cool J's "Doin' It" is followed by, "One word...aroused." Uh. Not at all. No. "Chewin' it, oohin' it, all while we're doin' it"? Look, I'm down with the doing of it. The oohing of it also is agreeable. But chewing it? Chewing what? That's probably second to "When will I die?" for questions I simultaneously desperately want answered but desperately don't want answered, if you catch the breeze.
VALERIE (Debbie Downer'ed in Ep. 2)
AMUSED DOUCHE: Valerie was one of a handful of Chicago chefs to join the fray.
WHO YOU CALLIN' SUCCOTASH?: To some, facial resemblance to Rachel Dratch is undesirable, maybe even off-putting. Admittedly, it's not as good as looking like Dratch's buddy Tina Fey. But damnit, Dratch is almost as funny, and isn't that what matters?
YOU NEED MORE BACON: Despite proclamations of "upscale" proficiency, Val came across in her limited stay as outmatched and overwhelmed when it came to both tiers of the "game": in her final challenge, she made blinis, a food she was unable to pronounce correctly, much less make to satisfaction. In tight competition with Nikki's koala-droppings (I mean,mushrooms) the savvier Antonia threw Valerie smack into the grill of a Greyhound at the Judges Table. You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to scold 'em, Valerie.
ONE MORE CHANCE: A list of favorite songs that includes "Southern Cross" (one of the great overlooked songs of the past 35 years) and "Roam" suggests someone with a bit more gumption than was displayed over 90 heavily-edited minutes of television.
LONG KISS GOODNIGHT: Hey...that means the two chefs who included B-52s songs on their playlists were auf'ed first. How the hell could Andy Cohen let that happen?!
ERIK (imposed his way out in Ep. 3)
AMUSED DOUCHE: San Fran-based badass who has parlayed a lackluster showing on a TV show into a burgeoning business for custom-designed "tattooed" chef coats. Probably had his life changed the first time he heard Motley Crue, they let him know that there was a place for the freaks like him, dude.
WHO YOU CALLIN' SUCCOTASH?: Reminded me of last season's "Bruno Boy" Joey--gruff personality masking a heart sweet as a candy apple. Cooking skills? Maybe.
YOU NEED MORE BACON: Erik knew his corn dogs would get soggy whilst in transport to the block party, yet must have figured that someone else's dish would be shittier, or the soft pups would shine regardless thanks to their creators own innate awesome bursting through in every bite. Either way...loser. Erik also thinks Mexican food is "for the street people" and could not in any way constitute "fine dining". As someone who has found high-end Mexican food even in her back-asswards hometown, let me say: Erik, yaya tome una mierda.
ONE MORE CHANCE: Lost his virginity to "The Tide is High". "I'm gonna be your nuuuumber one."
LONG KISS GOODNIGHT: Points for Slayer, but not for spelling it "Rain In Blood". The song is "Raining Blood" and the album is Reign in Blood. Remember that "you don't have to understand your music in order to enjoy it?" commercial that ran not not too long ago? That always pissed me off.
MANUEL (kicked off in Ep. 4)